Feeling left out is a universal human experience that can occur at any stage of life, from childhood to adulthood. It’s a complex emotion that intertwines with feelings of loneliness, rejection, and the human need for belonging and acceptance.
I shared my experience attending my first big aviation event in a previous episode. As a newcomer to the field and a college student, I was thrilled at the prospect of mingling with prominent leaders and professionals at a conference hosted near my university. However, to my surprise, upon arrival on the first day, I was intimidated and felt like a fish out of water. The connections among attendees were palpable; everyone appeared to have a sense of belonging and were well connected with friends and colleagues. Roaming the exhibition hall with three of my classmates, we were overwhelmed by the scale and energy of it all. Back in 2008, student organizations and conference groups didn’t exist like they do now. As the day ended, my colleagues and I attended a networking reception. There, an industry leader approached us and struck up a conversation. He inquired about our names and backgrounds, and after sharing my unique story and how I found aviation later in life, the conversations shifted to my college mates. I barely spoke the rest of the reception. I wondered how I would stand out and make a difference in my industry when I felt like this.
The feeling of being left out often originates in social settings, whether in school, the workplace, or within a circle of friends. For children, it might be as simple yet painful as not being picked for a team or invited to a birthday party. For adults, it can manifest in being excluded from social gatherings or professional opportunities.
Additionally, we should not underestimate the psychological impact of feeling left out. It can lead to a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth and, in extreme cases, lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. The pain of exclusion is so intense that neuroscientists often compare it to physical pain; the same brain areas get activated in both scenarios. Above all, not having a system or process that is inclusive can significantly impact a company or industry culture, resulting in long-term challenges in the future.
The 2022 FAA Women in Aviation Advisory Board report talks about the impact of women in aviation feeling left out, and here is what the report shared.
“Although women are not always actively excluded, aviation’s culture works against the recruitment, retention, and advancement of women. From uniforms to flight deck design to images in flight training manuals and terminology in FAA regulations, external representations of aviation’s cultural values signal a system designed by men for men. Women are “allowed,” but are not always supported throughout the system, and instead challenged to find a way to “fit in” and be successful. However unconscious or unintentional, false perceptions of equality, a credibility gap, gender stereotypes, bias, harassment, and tokenism can impact women at every stage of their careers—and stand as a direct obstacle to aviation’s best future.”
Reflecting on my experience of feeling left out at an aviation event, I’ve come to recognize the importance of now pausing at events to observe and reach out to those on their own. This simple gesture of connection has allowed me to meet many newcomers, particularly women and young professionals, who are just beginning their journey in our industry.
Our podcast guest, Cat Clay Wren, joins us this week to share her start in aviation, right after college with no aviation background. Hailing from a small, rural community in southwest New Mexico, Cat grew up in an environment where farming and ranching were the norms, instilling a strong connection to the outdoors and a foundation of hard work and perseverance. Her journey from playing Division II college basketball to unexpectedly diving into the world of business aviation is nothing short of remarkable.
Starting her aviation career as a flight line agent, Cat had to learn fast and advocate to do tasks traditionally completed by her male counterparts. She openly shares the challenges and stereotypes she faced as a young newcomer to the industry and how she turned these into opportunities for growth and advocacy for women in aviation. Cat navigated through multiple roles, eventually becoming the Chief Experience Officer at Business Jets in Dallas, Texas. In this leadership position, Cat brings a non-traditional yet practical approach, emphasizing the importance of servant leadership and adapting her style to meet the needs of her team and company.
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